Anger

How dare you.

You no longer have the social right of civility in my presence. Do not smile at me, do not wave; I suggest that you instead avert your eyes and find a path that does not intersect mine. Tuck your tail between your legs and watch the ground before your feet for the shame you ought to be feeling. I will walk proudly with head held high, knowing that never in my short existence on this planet have I ever acted as reprehensibly as you have today. We are human and we are prone to error, yet your actions go beyond this. Your decisions lacked empathy and reason; they lacked compassion. You’ve flaunted your power and authority over someone those attributes were meant to protect and nurture. You are the regurgitated stench of a dung beetle.

People can lead but not all people are leaders and you, who no longer deserve the respectful title of ‘sir’, you are no leader. You are at best a shepherd who leads his flock to slaughter, after pinning them with ribbons at the fair. You are a con who lulls people into security then, at the precise moment when they trust you most deeply and subconsciously, you drive the knife in deep. You watch their eyes as you twist the blade. I cannot help but think you find some sort of pleasure in this kind of torture you consider “leadership”.

Cowardice, foolishness, conceit, and treachery have no ribbons, no medals with which to adorn yourself… yet you have so many. Were they plucked from the uniformed corpses you left in your wake? Did you pin yourself then use their former limbs as rungs for your ladder as you ascended to a place of comfort and relaxation?

Perhaps that is harsh.

But you can’t tell me I’m the first one you’ve fucked – I’m no naive virgin. People like you do not suddenly become the way you are, nor will you cease the behavior. No; in your past are a series of skeletons you’ve slowly accumulated without, perhaps, realizing. Your closet rattles. They started off small enough, but they’re getting bigger. I only wonder how full your wardrobe can get before bursting; how enormous the skeletons before it reaches that point.

I say all of this because I feel hurt. I am angry. I feel deceived.

These are not feelings that you cannot glaze over with a simple apology. Your actions attacked the core of my trust. I may forgive you, should you make things right. However, I will always regard you with skepticism and distance. I will question your motives and ethics. I will approach you cautiously, never knowing how you might respond. You are a creature who has tasted blood – will you not continue to lust for it? I’ll always wonder, like an itch in the very back of my mind.

I do not wish to be cruel or harsh. I wish to be honest.

My eyes will not wet when we part.

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