I don’t know what this is.

Look down.

Waves crash beneath your feet. You don’t know how you’re standing here. There’s a cliff behind you, but there isn’t actually anything beneath your feet. You stand on thin air, looking past your toes at a violent sea of bluish green. White caps froth as the water pushes and pulls against itself, unable to decide where it belongs. For a moment, you understand how it feels and you can feel your own frothy white caps of frustration forming inside. Life is sometimes difficult.

The wind is warm, but fierce. The salty air stings your skin and whips your clothes against your body. The excess fabric flaps behind you. Its sound reminds you of a flag snapping in the breeze. Why are you here?

Above, you see storm clouds rolling in. It’s a turbulent sky with dark clouds rolling atop one another, fighting for a glimpse of the ocean below. You can hear their grumbles as they push one another aside. The air feels electric and the little hairs on your arm even stand on end – or so it feels.

Crack! Boom!

You’re in bed, a soft bed. It’s dark in the room and very quiet… it should be a comforting place and you do feel tired, but this isn’t where you’re supposed to be. Feeling sleepy…

Crack! Boom!

There’s the ocean. You’re facing a new direction, looking along the coastline where those angry waves beat against the cliffs. The sea will only ever see the rock and soil its waves attack – but from your vantage point, you can see the grassy green tops; rolling fields stretch for miles across a picturesque landscape of rolling hills. You imagine somewhere in that distance there must be cows, lazily stomping about the soft earth or perhaps reclining in a patch of remaining sunlight.

With a deep breath you feel that if you lean forward, you’ll be able to direct some form of movement. Sure enough, the slight tilt of your body allows you to move securely forward. It’s not as though you’re going to fall – you actually feel quite sturdy in the middle of the air, and now you can explore.

Where do you go?

With this newfound ability, you suddenly feel free and in control. You know that you may go anywhere you wish. For a moment, this thought overwhelms you. A lush beautiful forest comes to mind, the pyramids, great towering mountains – it’s your discretion.

Except suddenly, you only yearn for home. Not just home… but childhood. It’s not the structure you want, but the comfort. Knowing that adults would protect you. This was a time when you were invincible, and so was everyone around you. No one could die, no one became incurably ill. Life was nothing but a gift.

From darkness, your mind snaps back. You’re at the sea again, staring at the turmoil beneath your soles. What is a soul, anyway? Do you have one? As if to answer your question, the desire wells up inside you to dive into the raging water below.

Without a moment’s hesitation, you plunge downward – into the sea salty water – into the unknown – into the raging waves – and you find… calm. Beneath all that struggle, there is peace. The water isn’t water anymore, yet you float suspended in it as if it were. It’s warm. It’s comforting. You’re enveloped in a familiar embrace.

You’ve found what you seek.



Filed under Writing

3 responses to “I don’t know what this is.

  1. The power of the mind; it is never trapped in time such as the body is. I know what this is–an enjoyable piece of writing. Great style, great scope and movement.

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